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AGE ˖᯽

I come across videos like this and suddenly the motionless thought of suicide quietens down in my mind and body. It’s so interesting to experience life with a brain that is constantly trying to end you, and simultaneously pleading with you to stay alive. I think that aging comes with a greater knowledge of how hard, but still pleasant life is — a great grace too, for yourself and those around you. That eventually I will live a life I do not feel as though I need to escape from, and that I am always free to run around - literally and figuratively so. To be crazy and colourful, especially if it is different to others. It only really matters if you are “normal” to yourself. Realising that I spend almost all of my time trying to understand and be understood and it causes me to lose vision and my state of being after a while always collapses. Videos like this are a soft reminder life will never not be beautiful and as souls in a body it is relevant to never stop learning how to be a better person, friend, lover, daughter … — they all exist under the same umbrella anyway. Life demands love and you have to give it to receive it, even in your relationship with self. “No matter how mean your life gets, you have to get up and live it”, I don’t know where I read this, but I think of it often. I hope that I can continue to grow old — despite everything, and if I do not, I will put the remainder of my strength and effort towards making life for myself for myself and those around me as vibrant as this video. 


https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSDJBdyPL/



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